7 Quick Takes - The Funny Edition

I experienced a couple hilarious situations in the past week or two! I thought the quick takes would be a perfect time to share them! Ready?

1. While setting up an interview for a new babysitting family, I offered to send the mother my resume and references so that she could look them over beforehand. "Oh, you don't have to do that!" she said. "Just bring it with you. It will save you the postage." Oh boy. I didn't tell her I meant email! Though I did think about responding, "Oh, it's no problem! I have my own carrier pigeon!" LOL Later I met the family and was so impressed.. Very sweet kids and parents. :)

2. While in the grocery line, I overheard the lady in front of me grab for her frozen bag of salmon and say, "Oh no! Wait! Let me read that.. Yeah, okay, can I put this back? I read somewhere that they use toilet water to house farm-raised salmon.." She looked to me and the other woman in line with a raised eyebrow, as if to say, "Ya. That's right! I bet I just rocked your world!" I laughed out loud. Big time. "What?" she asked. "Well.. where did you read that? Trick-opedia.com?" The lady behind me joined in my laughter. "No." said the salmon-phobic woman. "I've never even been to that site." The laughter stopped. "Oh. My. Gosh." Said the lady behind me. And I have to say, I was just as shocked. That woman shouldn't even be COOKING salmon!

3. I'm nannying this weekend for one of my favorite families. Today, the youngest said, "We LOVE when you're our nanny!" I was touched. "Aw! Really!? So, on a scale of one to ten...?" "One hundred!" She said. "Four hundred!" said the middle child. We all looked to the oldest.. He deliberated for a moment or two and went with eleven. "Eleven!?" I exclaimed! He was low-balling me! But things began looking up when, later on, I gave him three pennies and he said, "Hey! I think you just moved up to fourteen!" LOL

4. My BFF Laura and I took her daughter and my sisters out for lunch the other day. Annie (age 7) and Caroline (age 5) were so enthralled with little Mary Grace (age 1) that Annie immediately exclaimed, "We should have another baby!" Laura and I exchanged an amused look (I'm the oldest of eight). "Oh yeah?" I asked. "You should ask mom about it!" Caroline chimed in, "Yeah, or adopt a baby!" Poor Mary Grace was probably thinking, "Not me, not me!" I smiled, "That would be nice!" Then Annie came up with an equally touching option three: "Or get a baby squirrel!" Yep, that's where we are right now folks.

5. I threw my parents a surprise wedding anniversary party last weekend. To get them out of the house, we told them that we would all be meeting at our favorite Italian restaurant at 4pm. I left early and waited, undercover (read: behind some trees) to watch for their departure. When they did, we rushed into the house, put balloons on the porch (the sign for all our family friends to come on in) and we spent the next 9 minutes getting food out, setting up candles and table clothes and doing the famous "Beardmore-tidy!"

When I called my mom to get them to turn around, I found that they were already at the restaurant. "What!?" She squawked (sorry mom, but you did!). "We're already here! What do you mean Tommy is at the house with a bunch of pizzas!?" I told her that my brother misunderstood what we were doing and that we should all go back to the house. She was not happy and when we organized everyone in the living room to shout surprise when they walked into the house, I picked up my littlest sister and moved to the back of the room. Only after things calmed down did someone point out to me that I had held Caroline in front of me, as if to say, "Don't shoot!" Thankfully, mom and dad were anything but upset and really enjoyed the celebration! Happy Anniversary you two! :)

6. We drove up to a drive-in movie theater the other night and, on the way, my friend Michaela and I stopped to pick up a bottle of wine (cuz nothin' says classy like a shiraz poured into conspicuous soda fountain cups). I brought in my Naturalization Form from when, at age 17, I became an American citizen since I had lost (read: thrown away) my driver's license a couple weeks ago. I've never had an issue using it but the guy at the liquor store wasn't a fan. Here's our conversation:

Guy: "Um, no. You cannot use that. You need to leave the store."
Me: "It's a federal form of ID. Yes, I can."
Guy: "No. You can use a driver's license or state ID or passport, but not that."
Me: "If I can use a passport, I can use a naturalization form."
Guy: "No. You need to leave the store."
Me: "Sigh. Well, can she buy it?"
Mikey: "Yeah, it's okay. I'll just buy it."
Guy: "That's fine, but you can't. You need to leave."
Me: "But that's not fair! I was going to buy this because you bought dinner when we -- "
Guy: "Ma'am! You need to leave the store!"
Me: "Ugh! Okay, okay! Let me just give her my cash."
Guy: " NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE STORE!"
Mikey: "I got this. Just go."
Me: "This is ridiculous. I'm leaving."

I think I gave the guy a stroke. LOL

7. If any of you love your Spanx, wait until you try the Flexees body-shapers! Do NOT try the ones with adjustable straps and trust my judgement: I have done the legwork. Yep, I've tried them all and this is the body-shaper to get! Why is this funny? Cuz I lost mine this week and finally found it in my glove compartment. Yeah. I have no idea.

Go visit Jen at Conversion Diary! Always a great read! :)